Under the weather

When you have been harmed as a child, you lose trust in people, in faith and in yourself. To finally get to a place in your journey where you start to trust and believe in others and yourself is an incredible achievement.   Knowing that you have found a strength within that allows you to be open to people you love, to allow them in, gives you a peace that you have been longing for.

Today, my trust and belief in myself wavered a little, wondering if I was strong enough to finish the journey alone. Wondering if anyone would be waiting to celebrate at the finish line, wondering why this awakening couldn't have happened a year ago.  The odd thing is, I had just expressed my trust and belief in a note, not only in myself but in another, 3 hours later I felt shakey in my strength and my confidence.

I'm writing this as I lay in my bed where I've been since 4pm, with chills, sore throat, achy body and my head throbbing.  Understanding now, that being under the weather is the cause of my emotions running high, too bad I didn't know that at 2:30....

Tomorrow is a new day, the beginning of the weekend, tomorrow I'll be ok.