It's not always all about you
"It's not always all about you!" I didn't think it was "all about me"... why would you even say that? It was said because I did think it was all about me. You are in your "friendly" mode, it must've been something I did wrong. You're a bit down, ugh, I can't be enough to make you happy. Everything must have been my fault, ugh....I made it all about me but in a totally different way than I think of when someone says "all about me". It's pretty arrogant of me, considering I didn't even like myself. Confusing huh? I agree, I lived it and I am still confused. I was asked once how I could be so confident about one thing and completely lacking in every other part of my life. It was a really great question that I will probably never have the answer to but I just was.
I spent 4 hours this morning driving to the lake, my peaceful place, my haven. That's a long time to be held captive by that voice in your head, thank God I woke this morning with the negative thoughts gone and a peace inside. This gave me ample time to talk to God, a clear head, a 3rd cup of coffee and a captivated audience..... Ya just can't get better than this! Here we go God, let's have this out, let me tell you all about me, what I want and need. "Be still Terri" no God, listen....."No Terri, be still and trust". What? No, you've been saying that for a week, I'm done being still, change me now God!! "Terri, be still, it's not all about you" Whoa, oh wow, oh....oh...oh boy.....I get it. This is bigger than me. I have found my path, I'm marching along and doing what I have to do for me so now, I see, it's time for others. I have to give others the space and the respect and the unconditional love that they gave me. Their journey is about to begin and I'm not a part of it. It's theirs and theirs alone. I asked God to surround them in His amazing love, to give them the peace that I feel and show them what they need to see for themselves. I told God that I wanted what was best for them, even if it's not me.
You see, I know my value, I am starting to see myself through the eyes of the ones who love me. I know I'll be ok, better than ok and I will be blessed with whatever God has planned. I no longer have to say "I'm worth it" to anyone else, I am finally seeing that I am and it's not all about me. Epiphany #2.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
I spent 4 hours this morning driving to the lake, my peaceful place, my haven. That's a long time to be held captive by that voice in your head, thank God I woke this morning with the negative thoughts gone and a peace inside. This gave me ample time to talk to God, a clear head, a 3rd cup of coffee and a captivated audience..... Ya just can't get better than this! Here we go God, let's have this out, let me tell you all about me, what I want and need. "Be still Terri" no God, listen....."No Terri, be still and trust". What? No, you've been saying that for a week, I'm done being still, change me now God!! "Terri, be still, it's not all about you" Whoa, oh wow, oh....oh...oh boy.....I get it. This is bigger than me. I have found my path, I'm marching along and doing what I have to do for me so now, I see, it's time for others. I have to give others the space and the respect and the unconditional love that they gave me. Their journey is about to begin and I'm not a part of it. It's theirs and theirs alone. I asked God to surround them in His amazing love, to give them the peace that I feel and show them what they need to see for themselves. I told God that I wanted what was best for them, even if it's not me.
You see, I know my value, I am starting to see myself through the eyes of the ones who love me. I know I'll be ok, better than ok and I will be blessed with whatever God has planned. I no longer have to say "I'm worth it" to anyone else, I am finally seeing that I am and it's not all about me. Epiphany #2.
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails.
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