Loved

As I was getting ready this morning, I felt an overwhelming sense of happiness.  I felt free, I felt peace, I felt joy and I felt loved.  I realized I felt all of these things and it wasn't because of someone else doing or saying something, it wasn't because the man I love had decided he didn't want to spend another day without me, it wasn't because of anything other than....I was.  I realized that it's ok if he doesn't want me back, it's ok if I spend my life without a significant other, I have me.  For the first time in many years, I was happy for no reason and no one could've wiped  that smile off of my face or from my heart.   My light was shining bright, 10 hours later, it's even brighter.  

I had searched for so long to find the one who would love me enough that I would finally feel like I was worthy.   I found her and she is the best thing to ever appear in my life.  I am one amazing person and I created my happiness and I will continue. 

Please understand that I didn't come to this easily or quickly.   I have fought my demons for 40 years and I have won.  A journey that started a year ago will continue but I see the light and it's me.  

I have read several books over the past 12 months that have helped me in a way that has changed me forever.  Thanks to an amazing friend Cathy who knew when I was ready that these three books would change my life.  I suggest anyone who feels less than enough to go check these books out and read with an open heart and mind.  

The New Codependency and Codependency No More 

by Melody Beattie 

 The New Earth. Awakening to your life's purpose  by Eckhart Tolle