12 months

A year ago this week my life changed.  The man who I had loved once, my best friend for 6 years died.   My boyfriend broke up with me the day before and my life was upside down.  Both people whom I depended on for so long were gone and I was left alone.  I asked God to show me what I needed to see in myself and I decided to pick up one of the books that had been given to me almost a year earlier, Co-dependant No More.   My life was written in these pages, every word rang true and I couldn't get enough.   I read and reread, looked up different articles, read whatever I could to help ensure finding a way to a new me.  (Here's the kicker, when I was 18-23 I had a boyfriend whose mother suggested that I look into co- dependency.  You see, he ended up being a drug addict who I thought if he loved me enough he would stop doing drugs.  He didn't and we parted ways, he was my fist love.  He later died because of his drug abuse. )    This book was the beginning of my journey, my journey that lead me to here, 12 months later, trying to figure out how to love myself so I can accept the love of another.

I'm here because someone loved me and I couldn't accept his love .  Now that I am understanding myself, my issues, my past and my fear of the future, I am starting to understand why he loved me and still does.  I am strong.  I am wise.   I am smart .  I am funny.  I am beautiful.  I am fun.  I am giving.  I am full of heart.  I am caring.  I am loving.  I am worthy.   I have an edge.  I am unique.  I am proud of who I am.  I am Terri Lynne.

Codependent relationships are a type of dysfunctional helping relationship where one person supports or enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.   

If you see yourself in the description above, please think about looking into finding help, through books, articles, blogs, therapy.  (I go once a week)  Being co dependent isn't anything to be ashamed of, it's part of who you are and you'll be a better you if you can take care of yourself.

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