Self confidence
I truly believe that every day, I'm learning more and more about myself that perhaps was always there I just never saw it. I believe that my confidence is there yet hidden, I don't know how to find it nor do I know how to harness it and use it. I'll be the first to admit it's not the most dominant thing about me yet I know that it's there, it has to be because if I had no confidence in myself I don't think that I could have such confidence and other areas of my life.
I am unique, I've never, as an adult, I wanted to be like everyone else. I've always had a different sense of style, a different sense of being, a different sense of humor, different sense of attraction. I honestly feel that stems from confidence that is somewhere deep inside of me. My dilemma is figuring out how to project said confidence so that everyone around can see it, feel it, benefit from it, and so that I, most importantly, can benefit from it.
I'll admit it, I'm not the smartest cookie in the jar, but I'm also not the dullest knife in the drawer.... I'm Common Sense smart and I am Heart Smart. I know that part of my outwardly lack of self-esteem is that I didn't finish college, which is a big Taboo in our society. Truly a shame, so many smart and talented people are being made to feel less than because they cannot show a diploma on the wall. I know this has definitely messed with my self-esteem along with coming from a small town. So many people believe that small town people are dumb, that they lack worldly knowledge, that they just are nothing but rednecks. Of course we've always referred to that as being a Hoosier, but now that my child is an actual Hoosier I no longer can use that reference without feeling as though I'm insulting one of my sweet children.
I think at this point in my life, my biggest hurdle is not trying to find my self-esteem, but trying to find my talent and my purpose. I want to make a difference, I want to help, I want to love. So, today I'll start with love and everything I do today will be with love
I am unique, I've never, as an adult, I wanted to be like everyone else. I've always had a different sense of style, a different sense of being, a different sense of humor, different sense of attraction. I honestly feel that stems from confidence that is somewhere deep inside of me. My dilemma is figuring out how to project said confidence so that everyone around can see it, feel it, benefit from it, and so that I, most importantly, can benefit from it.
I'll admit it, I'm not the smartest cookie in the jar, but I'm also not the dullest knife in the drawer.... I'm Common Sense smart and I am Heart Smart. I know that part of my outwardly lack of self-esteem is that I didn't finish college, which is a big Taboo in our society. Truly a shame, so many smart and talented people are being made to feel less than because they cannot show a diploma on the wall. I know this has definitely messed with my self-esteem along with coming from a small town. So many people believe that small town people are dumb, that they lack worldly knowledge, that they just are nothing but rednecks. Of course we've always referred to that as being a Hoosier, but now that my child is an actual Hoosier I no longer can use that reference without feeling as though I'm insulting one of my sweet children.
I think at this point in my life, my biggest hurdle is not trying to find my self-esteem, but trying to find my talent and my purpose. I want to make a difference, I want to help, I want to love. So, today I'll start with love and everything I do today will be with love
Comments
Post a Comment