Dreams
I was awake last night from a little before 3am until sometime after 4:30, I laid awake worrying about my child's health, all of them actually and my own, why I got a receipt from a hotel 2000 miles away that claimed I was a guest and checked out yesterday morning, they even gave me hhonors points for "my"stay. I worried about what else is being done and if this is a case of true identity theft. I tried many times to shut my eyes and drift to sleep only for my mind to wander back to things out of my control. I will admit, he was on my mind, the one I love, he always is but it wasn't worrying thoughts, more just regretful ones. I prayed that God would give me some sort of peace and guidance with all of it and that I would be able to allow myself to let go of the worry and sleep.
Finally, I fell asleep, but it wasn't restful, the dreams were vivid and not at all pleasant. Things from my past crept up, relived themselves, things from my present slid in and tried to make it not so grim. I remember asking in my dream for help, for answers. There was a knock on the door in my dream, it opened and there stood my Aunt Charlotte, all 3'9" of her. I got down on my knees as she walked to me, wrapped her arms around me and told me it would all be ok. She said that in the morning I would know, I would hear answers. I woke missing her, she passed away 9 years ago, she was my favorite.
I don't dream of people from my past too often, the ones who have gone on, it seems they come to me when I need guidance and peace. Marty is the one who comes to me the most, my soul mate who left too early. The one who brings me comfort and reminds me of my strength. He has stepped between me and harm on numerous occasions in my dreams and has tried to guide me to my next steps. I dreamt of Perry 2 times, the first days after he died. Marty was in that dream, not allowing Perry to talk to me, protecting me from the hurt and pain I was suffering from finding out the lies and deceit that had gone on for the last 2 years of his life. I dreamt of him again and we spoke, I got closure knowing I would never get answers and I asked him to never come back. That was 2 months after he died and I haven't dreamt of him since, for which I am grateful. I sometimes dream of my Grandma, she, like my Aunt and Marty comfort me.
I am a believer, obviously of an afterlife in which, when we are ready and when we need them, loved ones return to give us what we need, peace, comfort, guidance and sometimes reassurance that we are on the right path. My Grandma was a believer, she taught me that the spirit world is real and alive and if we believe, we can see. I believe that our loved ones want us happy, want us loved, want us living to the fullest and they are our counselors or guardian angels.
I don't know what Aunt Charlotte meant last night, that I would hear in the morning what I needed to know. What I do know is her presence in my dream gave me comfort, she ended the nightmare I was having and gave me peace. I know that when I need her or G'ma or Marty again, they will be there, directing me and wrapping their arms around me in such amazing hugs.
Finally, I fell asleep, but it wasn't restful, the dreams were vivid and not at all pleasant. Things from my past crept up, relived themselves, things from my present slid in and tried to make it not so grim. I remember asking in my dream for help, for answers. There was a knock on the door in my dream, it opened and there stood my Aunt Charlotte, all 3'9" of her. I got down on my knees as she walked to me, wrapped her arms around me and told me it would all be ok. She said that in the morning I would know, I would hear answers. I woke missing her, she passed away 9 years ago, she was my favorite.
I don't dream of people from my past too often, the ones who have gone on, it seems they come to me when I need guidance and peace. Marty is the one who comes to me the most, my soul mate who left too early. The one who brings me comfort and reminds me of my strength. He has stepped between me and harm on numerous occasions in my dreams and has tried to guide me to my next steps. I dreamt of Perry 2 times, the first days after he died. Marty was in that dream, not allowing Perry to talk to me, protecting me from the hurt and pain I was suffering from finding out the lies and deceit that had gone on for the last 2 years of his life. I dreamt of him again and we spoke, I got closure knowing I would never get answers and I asked him to never come back. That was 2 months after he died and I haven't dreamt of him since, for which I am grateful. I sometimes dream of my Grandma, she, like my Aunt and Marty comfort me.
I am a believer, obviously of an afterlife in which, when we are ready and when we need them, loved ones return to give us what we need, peace, comfort, guidance and sometimes reassurance that we are on the right path. My Grandma was a believer, she taught me that the spirit world is real and alive and if we believe, we can see. I believe that our loved ones want us happy, want us loved, want us living to the fullest and they are our counselors or guardian angels.
I don't know what Aunt Charlotte meant last night, that I would hear in the morning what I needed to know. What I do know is her presence in my dream gave me comfort, she ended the nightmare I was having and gave me peace. I know that when I need her or G'ma or Marty again, they will be there, directing me and wrapping their arms around me in such amazing hugs.
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