Dating

I had a date last night, it was a first (and last) date with a friend of a friend.  Yes, I should know better since the last time I went out with a friend of a friend he ended up on the news 2 weeks later.  Yet I went, trying to move forward, thinking this would be good.  Wow, was I so mistaken.  Dating now is like, well I have no comparisons, it's hell.  Ok, yes, I've gone on one date, I'm sure not all of them are like this douche but, I honestly don't care to find out.

Maybe it's customary for a date to try and rub your leg and hold your hand after ordering dinner.   Maybe its common for them to try to lean over and kiss you after your drinks arrive.  Maybe its the norm to have men asking you what your favorite sexual position is after knowing you for 28 mins.  Maybe I'm just old fashioned.   The only thing I'm certain of is that his reply to my trying to be nice I don't want to date you text pretty much makes me want to hide in my closet and never date again.

I don't want to date really, so I'm not disappointed that it didn't work,  I don't even want to date the one I love.  I don't want to want to be with anyone.   I want to continue to feel this freedom and this joy that I am having finding myself.  When the time is right, I want to be someone's dream, someone's girl that they think about all of the time.  Someone they dont want to be without.  Until I am that for someone, I won't settle for less and I sure as hell won't date dirt bags.     Oy!!!