Cat Lady
As I was shopping this evening at Target, I texted my two dear friends and simply said "Hey, I'm buying kitty liter wishing I wasn't a mid aged single woman with cats. Damnit to hell, I'm tired of this shit" They got it, they know, they have cats too.
Some days I feel like I'm going to be the lonely cat lady, crazy and scary, biting the heads off of little children who ring my door bell (figuratively, not literaly). Then there are days I feel like my time of happiness, love and sharing life is just around the corner. Of course it's been just around the corner for quite a few blocks now. I can't say the thought of being single forever scares me, or doesn't scare me, depends on my mood really. Totally back and forth on this one. Some days I'm fine with the thought of living my life with just myself, no one to hog the covers at night, no one to have to share a bathroom with, no one to take the Roku and change my movie mid show. Yet again, no one to share the covers with, no handsome man shaving while I'm taking a hot shower, no one to snuggle with and watch a movie. It's ebb and flow, I'm good with it and not.
I must come to the point where I am happy no matter what. Sharing my life or living it out loud and "alone", table for 2 or 1. I cannot be happy with someone until I am happy with the one, who I now realize is me. I am my one. So, until someone falls madly in love with me and realizes that life without me just won't do, I will fall in love with myself. I will just keep pressing my patience button and keep reminding myself that I'm not an old cat lady, and even if I were, I'd be a damn hot one.
Some days I feel like I'm going to be the lonely cat lady, crazy and scary, biting the heads off of little children who ring my door bell (figuratively, not literaly). Then there are days I feel like my time of happiness, love and sharing life is just around the corner. Of course it's been just around the corner for quite a few blocks now. I can't say the thought of being single forever scares me, or doesn't scare me, depends on my mood really. Totally back and forth on this one. Some days I'm fine with the thought of living my life with just myself, no one to hog the covers at night, no one to have to share a bathroom with, no one to take the Roku and change my movie mid show. Yet again, no one to share the covers with, no handsome man shaving while I'm taking a hot shower, no one to snuggle with and watch a movie. It's ebb and flow, I'm good with it and not.
I must come to the point where I am happy no matter what. Sharing my life or living it out loud and "alone", table for 2 or 1. I cannot be happy with someone until I am happy with the one, who I now realize is me. I am my one. So, until someone falls madly in love with me and realizes that life without me just won't do, I will fall in love with myself. I will just keep pressing my patience button and keep reminding myself that I'm not an old cat lady, and even if I were, I'd be a damn hot one.
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