Me, myself and I.

Me, myself and I.....never has this girl disliked those words and what they mean more than today.  Selfish, narcissistic and asshole-ish, that's what I hear, that's what I was.    Empathy, compassion, understanding,  words that were familiar yet distant from that girls mind and heart.  Such lack of mindfulness and awareness of others.   Don't get me wrong, I'm not beating myself up for how she was, yet I am embarrassed.  

I keep wondering why people liked her, I wouldn't have been friends with that chick, she was probably a bitch too.  She was a lucky one though, she had people who loved her as she was.....even though she didn't.  They saw in her something I didn't.  They saw potential and love.  
I'm so grateful for the people in my life who saw in me what I couldn't, even though I was not aware of what they needed.   I am so sorry to the ones I've hurt and the ones I've lost.   Please forgive me for being so unaware.   Please allow me to grow and become what you knew I could be.  I want to show love and empathy, compassion and understanding.  I want you to feel the love I feel.