Love More than I Hurt

Today the sermon at church was about love.  They said love was a choice, I can't agree with that completely, I believe your heart makes the choice of who it wants to love, it's your mind that chooses what to do with that love.

It made me really think, what have I chosen to do with the love I have?   I've been very selfish with it, not sharing it with others.  Not allowing many behind my wall to see what I have hidden inside.    I've thrown the word "love" at some, thinking it was what it wasn't.  I have probably even used it to get what I want.   But is any of that really love?

Love is patient
Love is kind
It does not envy
It does not boast
It is not proud
It is not rude
It is not self seeking
It is not easily angered
It keeps no record of wrong
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres.

I have not been patient nor kind, I've been jealous and rude, I've been self seeking and angered.   I haven't protected or trusted.
I have not truly loved.

I have loved deeply, passionately and unconditionally but that's only part of how I am supposed to love

I have felt a glimpse of the true love in the past few days but it becomes clouded by anger, rudeness, envy and confusion.   Last night and even more so today, I have realized that I must love more than I hurt.   I must put to the side, my emotions and my discomfort to love fully and truly.   I have realized that I have this love in me, I am capable of True love.  Pure love.   Real love