Mixed emotions

I realized last night as I was taking a hot bath that there were so many things I had wanted to do while living in this house.  Plans I had made in my head, things that didn't happen. I have mixed emotions..... I think it has made me a little sad that life isnt at all how I had pictured it yet because it isn't, I am better.  (It makes sense in my head)    If life had turned out how I envisioned it 5+ years ago, I wouldn't have been ready to open myself up for a new me.  I would have continued to settle.   I would have continued to hide my emotions and not been able to let go of hurt, guilt, anger and the past.  

I am becoming someone who can have a healthy relationship and I am so excited for the future because I know it'll be amazing and worth the wait and the work.  I am deserving of love.