Begin again, again.
I came back from a women's retreat today, a weekend of learning how to deal with, accept and embrace our "new beginnings". A retreat where we are meant to recharge and breathe, relax, find our inner strength, come back to reality with a new set of eyes to see where we can begin again. Of course, I thought to myself how many beginnings are there gonna be.....I keep having to start over, never seeing a happy ending to my every new beginning.
I heard stories of loss, from spouses to children, to homes, money, jobs, their own self. They told their stories of starting over, learning to be alone, dealing with grief, dealing with heartache and the fear of losing their own lives to cancer. Every story filled with sadness yet the amazing power to overcome. Hope and belief kept these women strong, they knew they had life to live, children to care for, loved ones to protect and keep safe. In some of their accounts, I felt a connection, I knew the pain in their voices, it was the hope that they had, the trust in themselves that I have been so lacking.
Huge stick-it notes hug on the wall, on them, written were the questions "What do you need to let go of?" "Where do you begin?". My answers were clear. I need to let go of a fear of the future. My fear of being alone, of not having what I've always dreamed of and it starts within me. I am the only one who controls my fears and my fears have been holding me back. I need to begin again but this time without fear or reservation. I need to have confidence and power that I know is in me. These women gave me encouragement to stand even taller, to show my true self and be proud of everything that is me.
New beginnings are necessary and unavoidable. New beginnings are hope, they are life, they are proof that we cannot be held down. New beginnings are joyful, powerful and most of all ours to dictate how the journey goes. My new beginning will begin again, yet this time with a smile
I heard stories of loss, from spouses to children, to homes, money, jobs, their own self. They told their stories of starting over, learning to be alone, dealing with grief, dealing with heartache and the fear of losing their own lives to cancer. Every story filled with sadness yet the amazing power to overcome. Hope and belief kept these women strong, they knew they had life to live, children to care for, loved ones to protect and keep safe. In some of their accounts, I felt a connection, I knew the pain in their voices, it was the hope that they had, the trust in themselves that I have been so lacking.
Huge stick-it notes hug on the wall, on them, written were the questions "What do you need to let go of?" "Where do you begin?". My answers were clear. I need to let go of a fear of the future. My fear of being alone, of not having what I've always dreamed of and it starts within me. I am the only one who controls my fears and my fears have been holding me back. I need to begin again but this time without fear or reservation. I need to have confidence and power that I know is in me. These women gave me encouragement to stand even taller, to show my true self and be proud of everything that is me.
New beginnings are necessary and unavoidable. New beginnings are hope, they are life, they are proof that we cannot be held down. New beginnings are joyful, powerful and most of all ours to dictate how the journey goes. My new beginning will begin again, yet this time with a smile
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