The Only Thing Holding Me Back Is Me

I'm not sure when I began to believe that at some point in life, a college degree would show up on my doorstep or my prince charming would find me at the grocery store, fervently ogling the pastry case with dead eyes.  I don't know when I started thinking that if I "think" about exercise, I will somehow build the muscle tone I desire or be able to run a half marathon without proper training (trust me, I've tried and your body will hate you for it).    For some reason, I assumed life would be just as I imagined it to be, without lifting a finger.

 Excuse my language but what the hell kind of thinking is that?  What I'm discovering, it's my kind of thinking.   From what I am learning, if I understand it correctly, is that I have "character neurotics" which means in some areas of life, I am guilt ridden by assuming responsibility for that which isn't really mine yet I fail to take responsibility for MYSELF.   Mind blown!!!   Hello world, I've woken from my 47 year sleep!!


Life doesn't just happen, I have to make it happen.  If I want a college degree then dangit, I need to get my tushy up and out the door to the classroom.  If I want lean, long muscle tone, then to the J I must go.  If I want to run a half marathon then I must don my new running shoes and hit the pavement.  Prince Charming, I've already met, yet I have to be responsible for my actions and words to him....something I have failed to do but if allowed, will show love through actions and words.

The only thing holding me back from the life I want, is me. 

** a little added side note.   I know 75% of the world already knows that you have to make life happen but for the 25% like me who are discovering issues like abandonment,  co dependcy,  high anxiety, this is a true awakening.   I knew it, I just never believed I was worth working for.

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