WTH is up with men??
There is something in the air, or maybe it's just me putting off weird vibes that are attracting the desperate. I just want normal....is normal too much to ask? It's not like I'm a beauty queen, hell, I'm not even in the top 20 yet with things that have been said to me the past week, you'd think I was the only fish in the sea. What worries me the most, the old saying you attract what you are. WTH, am I pushy, lonely, clingy and forward? If I am, God in Heaven, open my eyes and change me.
When you've known someone most of your life, you kind of know who they are or you think you do. A friend who I've never known for 29 years informed me this week over drinks that he "Didn't want to live life without me"....huh? I'm sorry, please repeat that, I know you didn't just say that. He did and by the look in his eyes, in that moment he was serious. Ummm, yeah, no. I'm not going to date you, let alone spend my life with you. I flat out told him not to say things like that again, later in the evening via text, he told me he was ready for a relationship and hoped I'd take care of myself and find what I was looking for. Almost 30 years down the drain, a friend who wanted more is now gone. What the fuck is wrong with people???
An old bf called and for the 2nd time in a month told me he wants to sell his business, this time added "I want to move there and marry you or whatever. No, not whatever, I want to marry you". Hmmm, we've been broken up for 2 years, what makes you think that's ok to say? Again, yeah, ummm, no!!
Went to drinks Friday night with a friend who proceeded to tell me that he thought we should date. Just casually tossed it out there mid sentence, maybe hoping I wouldn't catch it and it would sit and marinate in my brain until I thought I had come up with this brilliant idea. I shot him down with the witt and sarcasm he has become accustomed to, he laughed it off then tried to kiss me as I was getting into my car. I turned my cheeck.... Needless to say, follow up text were not witty nor sarcastic, rather blatant and on point. Yeah, he understands now....not cool.
Sunday, I go to church, enjoy the pastors Father's Day sermon filled with lame yet funny "Dad jokes" and feel good about the fact that I had gotten myself up and to church for the first time in a long while. As I was walking out, I was stopped by a gentleman who I've seen and been introduced to a few times, he was talking to a friend of mine and I didn't mind saying hello. She scooted herself out the door and I tried to follow when suddenly, this man asked me on a date. WHAT??? No, no, no!! 1) not my type B) too old 3) I AM AT CHURCH!!!! I don't go to church to be hit on, I go to hear about God and hopefully find something in the message that resonates so I can carry it with me. Not to find a man!!!
Yesterday, I filled my therapist in on the could be stand up routine called my social life and she found it as odd and humorous as I. What's wrong with people, what's wrong with men? She asked me if I at least felt flattered, I said no, not really. Now if John Hamm had said these things, yeah, I'd be flattered, I'd also we waking up in his bed but alas, not the case. Instead, I feel as though maybe I need to take yet another deeper look into my soul to see if I am attracting what I am. Geez, I hope not, if I am then I am shuttin' her down and lockin' myself in my closet (a place I might add that I have not sat in and cried in a long, long while).
I feel good, crazy attention or not, I feel good about me, about where I am, who I am and my path forward. The house is on the market, my kids are healthy and happy, my foot is to where I can run a few times a week. I've been looking into activities for me, I have a pull towards rock climbing. It's great strength building, it'll help conquer my fear of heights, it'll help (I think) with trust, and I know when I finally reach the top, the smile I'll wear will be priceless. I like being happy, wow, it fits!!!
When you've known someone most of your life, you kind of know who they are or you think you do. A friend who I've never known for 29 years informed me this week over drinks that he "Didn't want to live life without me"....huh? I'm sorry, please repeat that, I know you didn't just say that. He did and by the look in his eyes, in that moment he was serious. Ummm, yeah, no. I'm not going to date you, let alone spend my life with you. I flat out told him not to say things like that again, later in the evening via text, he told me he was ready for a relationship and hoped I'd take care of myself and find what I was looking for. Almost 30 years down the drain, a friend who wanted more is now gone. What the fuck is wrong with people???
An old bf called and for the 2nd time in a month told me he wants to sell his business, this time added "I want to move there and marry you or whatever. No, not whatever, I want to marry you". Hmmm, we've been broken up for 2 years, what makes you think that's ok to say? Again, yeah, ummm, no!!
Went to drinks Friday night with a friend who proceeded to tell me that he thought we should date. Just casually tossed it out there mid sentence, maybe hoping I wouldn't catch it and it would sit and marinate in my brain until I thought I had come up with this brilliant idea. I shot him down with the witt and sarcasm he has become accustomed to, he laughed it off then tried to kiss me as I was getting into my car. I turned my cheeck.... Needless to say, follow up text were not witty nor sarcastic, rather blatant and on point. Yeah, he understands now....not cool.
Sunday, I go to church, enjoy the pastors Father's Day sermon filled with lame yet funny "Dad jokes" and feel good about the fact that I had gotten myself up and to church for the first time in a long while. As I was walking out, I was stopped by a gentleman who I've seen and been introduced to a few times, he was talking to a friend of mine and I didn't mind saying hello. She scooted herself out the door and I tried to follow when suddenly, this man asked me on a date. WHAT??? No, no, no!! 1) not my type B) too old 3) I AM AT CHURCH!!!! I don't go to church to be hit on, I go to hear about God and hopefully find something in the message that resonates so I can carry it with me. Not to find a man!!!
Yesterday, I filled my therapist in on the could be stand up routine called my social life and she found it as odd and humorous as I. What's wrong with people, what's wrong with men? She asked me if I at least felt flattered, I said no, not really. Now if John Hamm had said these things, yeah, I'd be flattered, I'd also we waking up in his bed but alas, not the case. Instead, I feel as though maybe I need to take yet another deeper look into my soul to see if I am attracting what I am. Geez, I hope not, if I am then I am shuttin' her down and lockin' myself in my closet (a place I might add that I have not sat in and cried in a long, long while).
I feel good, crazy attention or not, I feel good about me, about where I am, who I am and my path forward. The house is on the market, my kids are healthy and happy, my foot is to where I can run a few times a week. I've been looking into activities for me, I have a pull towards rock climbing. It's great strength building, it'll help conquer my fear of heights, it'll help (I think) with trust, and I know when I finally reach the top, the smile I'll wear will be priceless. I like being happy, wow, it fits!!!
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