Old friends
I spent a few days at the lake with a dear old friend of mine that I've know since I can remember. She moved away when we were teenagers but luckily, we have been able to stay in touch over the past 30+ years (oh my Lawrd that makes me sound old~haha) I say her 8 years ago, honesty, it seemed like yesterday when we saw each other again, true friendships are like that. True friendships are also honest with you, even if the words hurt and sting, they aren't meant to, they are only meant with love and truth. She is that kind of friend to me, she doesn't hold back, doesn't sugar coato it and doesn't say things to be malicious. She says them because she truly cares. I admire that about L, she is a friend unconditionally and I couldn't be more grateful for her truth.
L had breast cancer 2 years ago this Aug, she fought it, did everything the Dr said and has won the battle as of today. She is aware of the risks of the cancer showing its ugly head again and she is cautious about how she lives her life. She's also cautious about not taking anything for granted. I loved watching her husband and her in her act, her two boys love on her and she on them and I love the honesty of her when she looked at me and said they're far from perfect but they were there for her and she'll never forget that.
L told me that you have to take life as it is and you have to not worry about the little things, you have to just be happy and live right now. So what if my body isn't perfect, put on that bikini and rock it as though it is. So I did and today, I wore shorts all day long. I know, who cares, everyone wears shorts, it's summer.....I don't because I'm too self conscious about my legs. It's a really stupid hang up that I must conquer. Yes, I have things legs but they have cellulite all over them and varicose veins that could be mistaken for a road map. But it's ok because I woke up this morning healthy, I have 4 amazing, healthy, loving children who like me (at least today) and I need to learn to be proud of this body that has berthed 4 children, has had heart issues, has diabetes and houses a soul and heart of gold.
My confidence is taking a new step, one that I have needed for a long while. One that will bring me to the place I long to be. To the place that I can walk away from anything and anyone that doesn't bring me joy and happiness. You see, I like to hold on because it's what I know. Maybe if I hold on longer the job will work out (it didn't) Maybe if I hold out, he will see that I'm enough (he didn't) Maybe if I ask again, they will want to hang out with me (they didn't) but here's the part that I am now understanding......I don't need that job or that man or those friends. I am enough for me and it's on them if they don't see that.
Oh, the freedom just keeps raining down on me and I am so grateful for friends who remind me that I am fucking perfect just as I am. 1
L had breast cancer 2 years ago this Aug, she fought it, did everything the Dr said and has won the battle as of today. She is aware of the risks of the cancer showing its ugly head again and she is cautious about how she lives her life. She's also cautious about not taking anything for granted. I loved watching her husband and her in her act, her two boys love on her and she on them and I love the honesty of her when she looked at me and said they're far from perfect but they were there for her and she'll never forget that.
L told me that you have to take life as it is and you have to not worry about the little things, you have to just be happy and live right now. So what if my body isn't perfect, put on that bikini and rock it as though it is. So I did and today, I wore shorts all day long. I know, who cares, everyone wears shorts, it's summer.....I don't because I'm too self conscious about my legs. It's a really stupid hang up that I must conquer. Yes, I have things legs but they have cellulite all over them and varicose veins that could be mistaken for a road map. But it's ok because I woke up this morning healthy, I have 4 amazing, healthy, loving children who like me (at least today) and I need to learn to be proud of this body that has berthed 4 children, has had heart issues, has diabetes and houses a soul and heart of gold.
My confidence is taking a new step, one that I have needed for a long while. One that will bring me to the place I long to be. To the place that I can walk away from anything and anyone that doesn't bring me joy and happiness. You see, I like to hold on because it's what I know. Maybe if I hold on longer the job will work out (it didn't) Maybe if I hold out, he will see that I'm enough (he didn't) Maybe if I ask again, they will want to hang out with me (they didn't) but here's the part that I am now understanding......I don't need that job or that man or those friends. I am enough for me and it's on them if they don't see that.
Oh, the freedom just keeps raining down on me and I am so grateful for friends who remind me that I am fucking perfect just as I am. 1
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