Tetralogy
Life is changing again. Child # 3 graduated high school this past week, he finished his track career on a high yesterday and we are putting the house on the market this week. All positive changes, changes of growth , changes of new beginnings, changes of want. Yet, even though it's all affirmative shifts in our lives, it's a bit sad and scary. I feel as though the third book in a tetralogy has ended, the final book is about to begin.
Each of my children have given me strength that I'm sure children should not have to provide for their parent. My oldest is my spiritual strength, she reminds me that there is something out there to hold on to, to ground myself in. My 2nd is my positive energy. She looks at things through constructive eyes, she sees the good in things when I could not. My youngest brings me youthfulness, he reminds me there is so much life to still be lived and gives me the pep in my step. Child #3, he is my rock. He has been since he was 12 and his family became "broken" . This precious son of mine would tell me that my happiness mattered. He would tell me it was ok to be sad and then remind me to pick myself up and keep moving. He was there for me when my heart was broken, when P died he was the one who let me cry, when J and I broke up, he brought me hot tea and sat with me and hugged me as I wept. He would tell his siblings that I too, deserved to be happy and have a life filled with love. He knew I fell in love with J, even before I did. He knows me, he know me better than anyone else and he accepts me for who I am. Yes, he doesn't want me around to embarrass him but he knows when he looks at me and tells me that he needs me, I will be there as fast as I can. He needs his mama, even though he is 5'10", 150lbs (remember, he's a long distance runner, they are thin and muscular) he needs me to be his mamacita. He texted last night as he was driving home, for the last time with his high school teammates, he just wanted me to know how much he appreciated me being there yesterday. It was a long day. A 5 1/2 hour tornado/storm delay. His siblings and I stuck it out because that's what families do. We are there for each other, no matter how long the wait.
I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm sad and I'm so happy that life is changing for us. We are a strong family, we have our moments, as do all families yet we are good. We are so very good. As long as we have each other, we have everything we need.
I am one lucky Mama!!
Each of my children have given me strength that I'm sure children should not have to provide for their parent. My oldest is my spiritual strength, she reminds me that there is something out there to hold on to, to ground myself in. My 2nd is my positive energy. She looks at things through constructive eyes, she sees the good in things when I could not. My youngest brings me youthfulness, he reminds me there is so much life to still be lived and gives me the pep in my step. Child #3, he is my rock. He has been since he was 12 and his family became "broken" . This precious son of mine would tell me that my happiness mattered. He would tell me it was ok to be sad and then remind me to pick myself up and keep moving. He was there for me when my heart was broken, when P died he was the one who let me cry, when J and I broke up, he brought me hot tea and sat with me and hugged me as I wept. He would tell his siblings that I too, deserved to be happy and have a life filled with love. He knew I fell in love with J, even before I did. He knows me, he know me better than anyone else and he accepts me for who I am. Yes, he doesn't want me around to embarrass him but he knows when he looks at me and tells me that he needs me, I will be there as fast as I can. He needs his mama, even though he is 5'10", 150lbs (remember, he's a long distance runner, they are thin and muscular) he needs me to be his mamacita. He texted last night as he was driving home, for the last time with his high school teammates, he just wanted me to know how much he appreciated me being there yesterday. It was a long day. A 5 1/2 hour tornado/storm delay. His siblings and I stuck it out because that's what families do. We are there for each other, no matter how long the wait.
I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm sad and I'm so happy that life is changing for us. We are a strong family, we have our moments, as do all families yet we are good. We are so very good. As long as we have each other, we have everything we need.
I am one lucky Mama!!
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