It's time to let go
"Stop believing in loss. Start believing in life. Let the past slip away. Come gently into the now."
This morning, I came upon this passage from one of my daily mediation books, it triggered many thoughts and positive emotions. "Journey of the Heart" by Melody Beattie was given to me in June 1999 by of of my sister in laws. I came across it several weeks ago while purging and packing the house in preparation to sell. I was a bit overwhelmed by the inscription written inside, words of love from one broken heart to another. Why I didn't start reading this book then is beyond me, 16 years later, I was given Melody s book on codependency and would then a year after that, find myself in those pages.
My past, so many painful and fucked up moments that I've seemed to wrap around me as though it is a shield of protection. Standing behind my pain, a facade to hide my vulnerability. Letting go is easily said, so incredibly difficult to do. If I let go, I no longer have anything to hide behind, no excuses not to allow myself to be available. In all honesty, I thought I had. I really thought that I let go....until now.
I realized as I was reading today's exert, that my insistence on being happy and loved comes from my lack of it in my past. I have felt that I deserve it more because I had never had it. I'm using it as my crutch, my "thing" and that isn't letting go. Letting go is exactly that....LETTING GO.
I have lost, I am scarred and I am forever changed by it but I have to stop living it over and over every day.
No more.....Silly girl, it's time to let it all go. Be free and live the life you truly want.
This morning, I came upon this passage from one of my daily mediation books, it triggered many thoughts and positive emotions. "Journey of the Heart" by Melody Beattie was given to me in June 1999 by of of my sister in laws. I came across it several weeks ago while purging and packing the house in preparation to sell. I was a bit overwhelmed by the inscription written inside, words of love from one broken heart to another. Why I didn't start reading this book then is beyond me, 16 years later, I was given Melody s book on codependency and would then a year after that, find myself in those pages.
My past, so many painful and fucked up moments that I've seemed to wrap around me as though it is a shield of protection. Standing behind my pain, a facade to hide my vulnerability. Letting go is easily said, so incredibly difficult to do. If I let go, I no longer have anything to hide behind, no excuses not to allow myself to be available. In all honesty, I thought I had. I really thought that I let go....until now.
I realized as I was reading today's exert, that my insistence on being happy and loved comes from my lack of it in my past. I have felt that I deserve it more because I had never had it. I'm using it as my crutch, my "thing" and that isn't letting go. Letting go is exactly that....LETTING GO.
I have lost, I am scarred and I am forever changed by it but I have to stop living it over and over every day.
No more.....Silly girl, it's time to let it all go. Be free and live the life you truly want.
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