Break through in a parking lot.

Opening myself up to let others in hasn't been easy.  Over the past 5 years, I had closed myself off so completely, that I lost friends who maybe would've been there had I not gone into "hiding".   Afraid of them seeing my pain, afraid of being hurt, afraid they would see me as I saw myself.  I proved to myself today how far I have come.   Two women stood talking to each other at pick up today, so I boldly got out of my car, marched up to them and threw myself into their conversation.    (I even hugged one of them) BOOM!!!

I walked away with my confidence blooming, my child by my side and a sense of belonging.   You see, one of those women snubbed me last week during a field trip to the science center and to be honest, it hurt my feelings.  So I decided that perhaps she just doesn't know how sweet I really am, maybe my shyness reflected a dismissive attitude instead of what it truly was....a lack of self confidence.    Today I showed her how nice and sincere I am and how open I am becoming.

I'm taking myself so far out of my comfort zone because like I was told, you have to be uncomfortable to become comfortable.  

I think I broke through a wall today.

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