Praying Without Listening.
I have decided to start diving into prayer, not just the act of praying itself but the understanding of prayer. The types of prayer, the forms of prayer, the reason for prayer and the accepting of the answers of prayer. For me personally, prayer wasn't taught as a conversation between myself and God, rather a pleading, begging, a sorrowful cry for God to love me, accept me, and for Him to not send me to hell. I don't have to beg God to love me, He made me, He created me in my mothers womb so He loved me before I was even born.
Prayer now to me is a deep personal conversation with God. I've learned that prayer isn't just words coming out of my mouth, it's tears that flow when I don't have words, it's thoughts throughout the day, it's a dream I have in my heart, it's the words I read in my Bible and it's the images I have when I think about my life. Prayer isn't a one sided conversation, it's more about listening to God rather than asking of God. Prayer isn't just about me, its about God and what God wants for me.
I remember the first time I felt God actually speak to me, I was 22 and arrogant in God. I was at Marty's parents house and the neighbors were there, Bobby and Laura, a young couple who were filled with happiness and joy for God. They were attending a new church and were telling us about St Louis Family Church and their pastor , Jeff. Laura was telling us how a group of women were praying and God had spoken to them, she began to share what God had said but, I never heard her story because that is the moment God spoke to me. You see, when Laura told us that they heard from God, that part of me that was taught that no one else could hear from God but people who attended our church, who are part of our religion piped up. I remember thinking to myself, " yeah right God wouldn't speak to you". That is when I felt like I'd been slapped across the face, something shook me and I heard God say to me as plain as any human standing next to me, "What makes you think I wouldn't speak to them, who are you to assume I wouldn't?". In that very moment I realized God is God, God will speak to whomever he wants as long as they are willing to listen. That day changed my life, I realized that God speaks to us when we are willing to listen and when we need him to kick us in the butt to wake us up.
I would like to say that from that day on, I opened my ears and heart to God but I didn't I thought I knew how to live life and how to be a good Christian without God, I mean I had been trained for it my whole life, I just needed to tweak things here and there. I was wrong and 26 years later, I am just now understanding how much I need God, how important real prayer is and how I cannot do this alone. I have heard God speak to me many times over the past 2 years, in my search for my own happiness, my own joy and self love. God has given me a dream in my heart, He has given me direction and hope. He has given me words of courage when I have felt down, given me words of love when I have felt broken. God speaks to each of us daily, through our own hearts, our own minds, through emails, songs, books. He speaks through others and through our children, we just have to open our hearts to Him. We have to be willing to hear Him and be open to His words especially when we are scared. God will speak if you will be still enough to hear. Turn off the radio, turn off the tv, turn off the music and ask God to speak and be ready to accept what you hear. Talk to God, He wants to talk to you
Prayer now to me is a deep personal conversation with God. I've learned that prayer isn't just words coming out of my mouth, it's tears that flow when I don't have words, it's thoughts throughout the day, it's a dream I have in my heart, it's the words I read in my Bible and it's the images I have when I think about my life. Prayer isn't a one sided conversation, it's more about listening to God rather than asking of God. Prayer isn't just about me, its about God and what God wants for me.
I remember the first time I felt God actually speak to me, I was 22 and arrogant in God. I was at Marty's parents house and the neighbors were there, Bobby and Laura, a young couple who were filled with happiness and joy for God. They were attending a new church and were telling us about St Louis Family Church and their pastor , Jeff. Laura was telling us how a group of women were praying and God had spoken to them, she began to share what God had said but, I never heard her story because that is the moment God spoke to me. You see, when Laura told us that they heard from God, that part of me that was taught that no one else could hear from God but people who attended our church, who are part of our religion piped up. I remember thinking to myself, " yeah right God wouldn't speak to you". That is when I felt like I'd been slapped across the face, something shook me and I heard God say to me as plain as any human standing next to me, "What makes you think I wouldn't speak to them, who are you to assume I wouldn't?". In that very moment I realized God is God, God will speak to whomever he wants as long as they are willing to listen. That day changed my life, I realized that God speaks to us when we are willing to listen and when we need him to kick us in the butt to wake us up.
I would like to say that from that day on, I opened my ears and heart to God but I didn't I thought I knew how to live life and how to be a good Christian without God, I mean I had been trained for it my whole life, I just needed to tweak things here and there. I was wrong and 26 years later, I am just now understanding how much I need God, how important real prayer is and how I cannot do this alone. I have heard God speak to me many times over the past 2 years, in my search for my own happiness, my own joy and self love. God has given me a dream in my heart, He has given me direction and hope. He has given me words of courage when I have felt down, given me words of love when I have felt broken. God speaks to each of us daily, through our own hearts, our own minds, through emails, songs, books. He speaks through others and through our children, we just have to open our hearts to Him. We have to be willing to hear Him and be open to His words especially when we are scared. God will speak if you will be still enough to hear. Turn off the radio, turn off the tv, turn off the music and ask God to speak and be ready to accept what you hear. Talk to God, He wants to talk to you
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