Self Destruct
Constantly on a path of self destruction and I don't understand why. I have everything I've dreamt of, a beautiful home, four amazing kids, my health and the man I love yet fear of losing these things keep me fighting when there is no right to be fought.
I want to self destruct again, thinking it'll happen anyway. It's stupid, the only reason it would happen is because of me, because of my words.
I see why I'm difficult, not to love but to be with. It's a constant battle to get me to trust when there isn't a reason. I have to figure out what my issue with trust is. How though? How does one discover why there is an issue of trust when the people you love, who love you, have given no cause. I have to step back and look at myself again and again until I find it.
I'm loved, loved more than I've ever been and I must stop fighting it. I am worthy of this love and I don't want to lose it out of fear of losing it.
I want to self destruct again, thinking it'll happen anyway. It's stupid, the only reason it would happen is because of me, because of my words.
I see why I'm difficult, not to love but to be with. It's a constant battle to get me to trust when there isn't a reason. I have to figure out what my issue with trust is. How though? How does one discover why there is an issue of trust when the people you love, who love you, have given no cause. I have to step back and look at myself again and again until I find it.
I'm loved, loved more than I've ever been and I must stop fighting it. I am worthy of this love and I don't want to lose it out of fear of losing it.
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