Invisible

Invisible.    Sometimes it's all you want to be, other times, you feel it's all you are.  Today is the latter.

People remember my brother, they remember my sister and only through them do they know I was there.  I was never one so stand up and shout "look at me, look at me" but there have been many times I've wanted to.

The feeling of people looking past you to speak with others, your words being ignored, feels like a slap in the face, except at least with that, people would have to acknowledge you were there.

Fear has reared its ugly head today, fear I'm not good enough for a job I want, fear that this house won't sell, fear of rejection and hurt.  I'm tired.  I'm tired of going it alone.  J does as much as he can, he is positive and loving,  he wants only what's best for me but he can't fix it, he can only stand on the other side of the road and watch.  

Today I want to scream "LOOK AT ME!!!", yet I won't, it's not who I am.  So instead, I'll shed my tears, wash my face, pick myself up and stand tall and pray I am noticed for who and what I'm striving to be.   Enough