The Things I Know

This year has taught me love, it has taught me patience,  I have learned trust and overcoming fear.  I have seen my lowest days and I have felt my most peaceful moments.   I have seen my children cry with me and felt their love engulf me when I thought I couldn't feel again.   I have been taught true friendship and loyalty and I have been shown the core truth of good humanity.  I have lost great love and I have gained the greatest love,  I have experienced true love within myself.   I have practiced mindfulness and meditation which has led me to my own confidence and peace.   I have hated God and renewed even a greater love for God all within moments.   I have felt unworthy and I have felt unlovable, yet I have been shown that I am neither.   I have lived for my past, cried for my future and now live for each moment as they come, for these moments are all I hope for.  I have been humbled by the love of friends and family, I have been loved like never before.   I seek quietness in my mind, I seek my voice to be heard and I seek a light that will shine from me to show the world a hope that has saved me.  I have learned my greatest fear is my own mind, I have lived and laughed while I watched my fears fad into the past.   I have overcome a guilt that wasn't mine, a burden that I for so long carried.   I have sought forgiveness and I have forgiven, for carrying around resentment only harms myself.  I have known pain and grief and I have know happiness and joy.  I have said goodbye and I have welcomed new hellos, I have closed doors and walked through new ones.  I have felt a love that is greater than myself and I know my heart will never seize to love abundantly and deeply.   I have rested but never given up, I have fallen and picked myself up.  I have seen that God protects and provides, I have felt His hand guide me and known my prayers were heard.

What I know is this......though we often feel alone, that is never the case.   Though we might feel unloved, someone always loves us.  Though we feel we cannot get up again, getting up is all we can do and though we feel like we aren't enough, we are more than.  Love, true love never leaves us, it just changes direction and leads us to where we are meant to be.   Forgiveness heals

2018, I say goodbye with a gratitude that is deep and honest, for this year has taught me who I truly am.   My strength and resistance has never failed me and through God and the universe, they never will.  Thank you for teaching me what life is truly about.

2019, I welcome you with open arms, I receive all the greatness you have to offer because greatness is all I deserve.   I welcome love, happiness, joy, sadness and heartache because to experience one, we must know the other.  I am ready to shine and be my authentic self